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Please put more jokes here

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    #9021
    Jethro...R.I.P.

    What's Jethro's wife getting for Christmas?

    A smaller turkey...
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment

      #9022
      Bought the kids a jigsaw for Xmas, worst thing I ever bought them.


      By 10 o'clock they'd all cut their bloody fingers off!
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment

        #9023
        I met some chess enthusiasts in a hotel lobby recently. All they did was brag about how good they were at the game.


        There's nothing worse than chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment

          #9024
          Who administers the vaccines in the Star Wars universe?

          Jabber the Hut.
          Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

          Comment

            #9025
            My wife's meals are fit for a god.
            They are burnt offerings.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment

              #9026
              What does Prince Andrew want for Christmas?

              According to him, 'To pull a little cracker'.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment

                #9027
                I saw this sign in a restaurant window 'CHICKEN DINNERS £1'


                went in, paid £1, and they gave me a bowl of corn.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment

                  #9028
                  Bridgend Conservative MP Jamie Wallis has been arrested on suspicion of driving whilst unfit.

                  Flip me... I better get down the gym.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment

                    #9029
                    Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?

                    Because we are tired of using our own...
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment

                      #9030
                      I only said that I prefer Warwick Castle to Caernarfon Castle and the Welsh Tourist Board blocked me.

                      What's the world coming to in 2021?. Punished for Fort Crime.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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