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Please put more jokes here

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    Local hospital forced to shut down after obstetrician quits suddenly

    They're having a midwife crises
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I see Matt Hancock has resigned, so that he can spend more time with someone else's family.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        What's the difference between Princess Dianas 1981 Ford Escort Ghia and a Mercedes?


        She wouldn't be seen dead in a Ford Escort.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Looking for local tradesmen in your area?


          Just visit any pub in the early afternoon
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            A bloke in a yellow jersey just pedalled past me on the autoroute from Calais . His face was twitching like mad and he was going one hell of a speed, chased by a pack of cyclists all screaming "feck you, cXXt, w1nker, bastard, prick..." I think it was the Tourettes de France.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              are you EVER going to post anything even mildly amusing??

              Comment


                At least V is posting summit.
                bloggoth

                If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
                John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

                Comment


                  Originally posted by BR14 View Post
                  are you EVER going to post anything even mildly amusing??
                  I saw this and thought of you!

                  My online girlfriend is giving me carpal tunnel.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I can't believe my wife has been trying to kill me by putting sand and cement in my meals and I never even noticed. I'm mortarfied.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I felt terrible when I woke up this morning.

                      My wife hates me calling her that
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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