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    I went into the library and asked for a book on the history of spinsters.


    "It's been left on the shelf" said the librarian.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      What's the definition of gross incompetence?


      144 Tory MPs.
      {emotionless greeting}

      Three Word Slogan

      Comment


        My dream job would be answering the phone on the suppository helpline. Imagine that. Every time someone phones up, you tell them to shove it up their arse!
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          “OK darling, you all set ?” He whispered seductively
          ‘Yes”, she replied huskily
          “Have you thought of a safe word ?”
          “Meatloaf” she answered.”
          “Meatloaf ?” He queried .
          “But of course” she said, “I’ll do anything for love but I won’t do that !”
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Wife: I've badly injured my knee
            Me: Are Eenie, Meenie and Mo ok?
            Wife: I hate you.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              So I said to the Doctor
              "My anxiety attacks seem to be most prevelant when I'm driving on the M5"


              "Would they be most intense around junctions 11, 11a and 12?" the Doctor asked


              "Yes I think your right Dr" I replied "What do you think it is?"


              With a worried look the doctor said "I'm afraid you may well be Gloucesterphobic!"
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I went to an aquarium and there was a fish singing Dean Martin songs.
                I asked one of the staff, "What's that fish singing?"
                He replied, "That's a Moray".

                Comment


                  I just bought 2000 slices of spam in batter
                  I'm just frittering my money away

                  Comment


                    "Doctor, doctor...
                    The GUI on my Unix based system has crashed and it's left me with just a command line prompt. Is it serious?"

                    "I'm afraid it's Terminal."

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by WTFH View Post
                      What's the definition of gross incompetence?


                      144 MPs.
                      FTFY
                      Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                      I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                      I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

                      Comment

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