Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

Using tablets - check
Writing in emojis - check
Obsessed with cats - check

You call them millenials.

I call them Ancient Egyptians.

[WTFH]

Me: I need a bank loan please


Bank Manager: How much?



Me: Really really badly

[vetran]

Today is National Orgasm Day.

and I bet that some of you have already celebrated on your own, you bunch of selfish

knock yourself out!

[NotAllThere]

Why do the Japanese never go to see a show?

Because they have Noh theatres.

[mudskipper]

I've accidentally swallowed a handful of scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

[WTFH]

I went in to Waterstones at lunchtime and asked the assistant "Do you have any books on turtles?"

He replied "hard back?"

I said "Yes. and little pointy head"

[WTFH]

I visited the birthplace of the man who invented the toothbrush.



There’s no plaque.

[WTFH]

Now that my friends have finished the Fastnet, here’s an old one for all the polyglots out there:

How do you greet a French yachtsman before a race?

“To the water, it’s time!”

[WTFH]

Help.

I'm looking for someone who will do facial reconstruction surgery on a platypus.

Let me know if you know someone who would fit the bill.

[BR14]

Do dyslexic Yorkshiremen wear cat flaps??