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    Yesterday my audiologist told me I’d gone deaf.


    Well that’s something I didn’t expect to hear.
    I'm perfect, in a very specific and limited way.
    Hands... out infractions
    Face... the music
    Space... between the ears

    Comment


      How sad that Jeffrey Epstein's suicide watch prison guard was tragically killed in a car accident tomorrow.
      When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

      Comment


        What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

        Alickalotapuss
        Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
        I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

        I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

        Comment


          A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows.

          I said, "Yes, of course. That's 20 cows."

          Comment


            Acoustic.

            what a scottish farmer uses
            to control his cattle.
            Entropy is NOT what it used to be.
            Inertia, however........................

            Comment


              A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.
              Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in
              Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.

              Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where
              they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet
              at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive.
              The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

              Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they
              should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
              Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they
              could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good
              value for money.

              Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should
              meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
              Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair
              accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.

              Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should
              meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
              Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before.

              Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

              Comment


                I have had the sh1ts for 5 weeks. Went to the doctor last Friday. He said not to worry, they go back to school on Tuesday.....

                Comment


                  What’s brown and sticky?






                  Anal
                  Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
                  I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

                  I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

                  Comment


                    Brillo said to me “what rhymes with orange”

                    I replied “No it doesn’t”
                    I'm perfect, in a very specific and limited way.
                    Hands... out infractions
                    Face... the music
                    Space... between the ears

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by SimonMac View Post
                      What’s brown and sticky?



                      Anal

                      What’s brown and sticky? (Part 2)

                      Stick Man lives in the family tree With his Stick Lady Love and their stick children three.' But it's dangerous being a Stick ManA dog wants to play with him, a swan builds her nest with him. Heeven ends up on a fire! Will he ever get back to the family tree?

                      No he gets shoved up someone ass (now brown)



                      Sent from my iPhone using Contractor UK Forum

                      Comment

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