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Please put more jokes here

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    My book on horology has finally arrived.

    It’s about time!

    Comment


      A man walks into a pub with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says
      "A pint please, and one for the road."

      Comment


        Which spice girl can hold the most petrol?

        Geri can.

        Comment


          Just been offered a new contract.

          The agent won't go into details, but says it's a 4 figure sum per hour.

          I've accepted, on the condition that the 4 figures are small and I'm allowed to bring a calculator.

          It could add up to being a good one.
          I'm perfect, in a very specific and limited way.
          Hands... out infractions
          Face... the music
          Space... between the ears

          Comment


            Originally posted by WTFH View Post
            Just been offered a new contract.

            The agent won't go into details, but says it's a 4 figure sum per hour.

            I've accepted, on the condition that the 4 figures are small and I'm allowed to bring a calculator.

            It could add up to being a good one.

            £10.00 is £10.00
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Tried to cancel my membership at the local fetish club but it appears I'm tied in
              I'm perfect, in a very specific and limited way.
              Hands... out infractions
              Face... the music
              Space... between the ears

              Comment


                My new years resolution is to not use any more aerosol deodorants.



                Roll on 2020
                I'm perfect, in a very specific and limited way.
                Hands... out infractions
                Face... the music
                Space... between the ears

                Comment


                  Scientists have found a way men and women can be friends without having sex.

                  Its called marriage.

                  Comment


                    Where does Kylie Minogue buy her supper?

                    Jason's Doner Van
                    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
                      Where does Kylie Minogue buy her supper?

                      Jason's Doner Van
                      I am so ashamed to have found that funny

                      Comment

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