Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

The Wife (tm): What do you want for dinner?

ME: Surprise me

The Wife (tm): I once gave a dolphin a handjob

ME: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pizza

[LondonManc]

Help contractors who say "I can't believe it's December already" by handing them a 10% rate cut and three week furlough. Then thank them for reminding you.

[vetran]

The Wife (tm): What do you want for dinner?

ME: Surprise me

The Wife (tm): I once gave a dolphin a handjob

ME: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pizza

Arf Arf....

[WTFH]

I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

[WTFH]

How do you make holy water?


You boil the hell out of it.

[WTFH]

A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.

But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

[WTFH]

My friend’s bakery burned down last night.


Now his business is toast.

[WTFH]

I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y.

[mb31]

Uncle Ben is dead.

There'll be no more Mr Rice Guy.

[LondonManc]

Another bag of rice for Christmas? Wow, thanks Uncle Ben.