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Please put more jokes here

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    The Wife (tm): What do you want for dinner?

    ME: Surprise me

    The Wife (tm): I once gave a dolphin a handjob

    ME: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pizza
    {emotionless greeting}

    Three Word Slogan

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      Help contractors who say "I can't believe it's December already" by handing them a 10% rate cut and three week furlough. Then thank them for reminding you.
      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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        Originally posted by WTFH View Post
        The Wife (tm): What do you want for dinner?

        ME: Surprise me

        The Wife (tm): I once gave a dolphin a handjob

        ME: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pizza

        Arf Arf....
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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          I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
          {emotionless greeting}

          Three Word Slogan

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            How do you make holy water?


            You boil the hell out of it.
            {emotionless greeting}

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              A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.

              But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
              {emotionless greeting}

              Three Word Slogan

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                My friend’s bakery burned down last night.


                Now his business is toast.
                {emotionless greeting}

                Three Word Slogan

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                  I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y.
                  {emotionless greeting}

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                    Uncle Ben is dead.

                    There'll be no more Mr Rice Guy.

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                      Another bag of rice for Christmas? Wow, thanks Uncle Ben.
                      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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