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    Which Spice Girl can hold the most petrol?
    Geri can.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist


      Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
      Which Spice Girl can hold the most petrol?
      Geri can.

      Ever get the feeling of deja vu?


      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore


        The average Icelandic penis is 6". The average British penis is 5".

        Remind me why mums go to Iceland?


          Good job no-one checks the word associations thread for duplicates. It would have run out of steam years ago


            Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
            The average Icelandic penis is 6". The average British penis is 5".

            Remind me why mums go to Iceland?
            Because it has high quality frozen goods at low, low prices?


              Desperately seeking technical support / advice.:

              I'm currently running the latest version of Girlfriend 5.0 and having some

              I've been running the same version of Drinking Buddies 1.0 for years as my
              primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always
              conflicted with it.

              I heard that Drinking Buddies won't crash if you minimise Girlfriend with
              the sound off, but since I can't find the switch to turn it off, I just
              run them separately and it works OK.

              Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with Golfware, often
              trying to abort my Golf program with some sort of timing incompatibility.

              I probably should have stayed with Girlfriend 1.0, but I thought I might
              see better performance with Girlfriend 2.0.

              After months of conflicts, I consulted a friend who has experience with
              Girlfriend 2.0.

              He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run Girlfriend 2.0 and
              eventually it would require a Token Ring upgrade to run properly.

              He was right.

              As soon as I purged my cache, Girlfriend 2.0 uninstalled itself.

              Shortly after that, I installed a Girlfriend 3.0 beta.

              All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it
              gave me a virus.

              After a hard drive clean up and thorough virus scan I very cautiously
              upgraded to Girlfriend 4.0.

              This time using a SCSI probe and virus protection.

              It worked OK for a while until I discovered Girlfriend 1.0 wasn't
              completely uninstalled.

              I tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 again with Girlfriend 4.0 still installed,
              but Girlfriend 4.0 has an unadvertised feature that automatically senses
              the presence of Girlfriend 1.0 and communicates with it in some way,
              resulting in the immediate removal of both versions.

              The version I have now works pretty well, but, like all versions, there
              are still some problems.

              The Girlfriend package is written in some obscure language that I can't
              understand, much less reprogram.

              And I've never liked how Girlfriend is totally object-oriented.

              A year ago, a friend upgraded his version to GirlfriendPlus 1.0, which is
              a Terminate-and-Stay resident version.

              He discovered GirlfriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't
              upgrade to Fiancée 1.0.

              So he did.

              But soon after that, you have to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes
              as a 'huge resource hog.' It has taken up all his space, so he can't load
              anything else.

              One of the primary reasons that he upgraded to Wife is because it came
              bundled with FreeSex 1.0.

              Well, it turns out that the resource allocation module of Wife1.0
              sometimes prohibits access to FreeSex (particularly the new Plug and Play
              items he wanted to try).

              On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before
              he can do anything.

              And, although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with Mother-in-law 1.0,
              which has an automatic popup feature he can't turn off.

              I told him to install Mistress 1.0, but he said that he heard that if you
              try to run it without first uninstalling Wife, that Wife1.0 will delete
              MSMoney files before uninstalling itself.

              Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway, due to insufficient resources.

              Is anybody out there able to resolve conflicts or offer technical advice?


                They say you burn as many calories during sex as you do running 5 miles.

                Who the hell can run 5 miles in 30 seconds?
                …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore


                  I caught my wife sleeping with my best friend.

                  I said to him "bad dog".

                  <Waits for some saddo to double check for duplicates>


                    The best cure for a persistent cough is to stop drinking milk.

                    My elderly neighbour had a hacking cough for months but since he started leaving his milk on his doorstep a couple of weeks ago, it seems to have cleared up completely.
                    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore


                      One for BR14:

                      How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb?
                      a) 1
                      b) 2
                      c) 1
                      d) 2
                      e) 2
                      f) 6
                      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore