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Please put more jokes here

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    Are Hummingbirds just regular birds that can't remember the lyrics?
    {emotionless greeting}

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      Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?
      It was the pot calling the cattle back.
      {emotionless greeting}

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        My girlfriend is a stunner.



        She works in an abattoir.
        {emotionless greeting}

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          According to the news, Elton John has put on so much weight recently, he is having to have his trousers specially made for him.

          Time to say 'Goodbye normal jeans' then, Elton.
          {emotionless greeting}

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            Just sold a really expensive John Lennon record on eBay.

            Imagine all the PayPal.....
            When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

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              How come when women take their clothes off and dance around a poll it's sexy, but when I do it it's "ew! get your clothes back on" and "ew! get off the bus"
              {emotionless greeting}

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                I was so shocked to overhear my neighbours calling me creepy, I almost fell out of their wardrobe.
                “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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                  MY relatives all wash wool jumpers at high temperatures. We're a tight-knit family.
                  “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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                    As a child: "You are grounded!"

                    As an adult: "Your package will be delivered between 8am and 6pm!"
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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                      my high street's cool, - it's got specsavers next to boots, and then greggs.
                      Specs and Drugs and Sausage Rolls!

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