Theresa May appoints Jose Mourinho as a new Brexit adviser after demonstrating it’s possible to exit Europe at a cost of only £300m.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain” -
One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has been deported.
We don’t have Oleg to stand on.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver
Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took
It to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos...... It keeps hot things hot,
And cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So she
Bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things
Cold,' she replied..
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
The blond replied..... ...'Two ice lollies and some coffee.'“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
The Englishmans wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.
'Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', he demanded.
'Well' she said, 'you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.'
The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says,
'For the sake of decency, here's a £20. Go and buy yourself some underwear..'
Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies.
'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers Why not?'
She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.'
Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a £10. Go and buy yourself some underwear"!
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.
‘Hoots mon, Aggie! Where the friggin hell are yer drawers?'
She too explains, 'You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.'
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb.... Tidy yerself up a bit.'“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
You're an adult now. Stop lying about your life on Facebook and start doing it on LinkedIn{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
My grandad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.
He said “It’s worth spending money on good speakers.”“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
To get over my obsession with Dusty Springfield, I threw away all of the books, records and other memorabilia I had.
Now I just don't know what to do with my shelf............!!!“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
What is it with Teachers?
They complain that kids lead sedentary lives and don't get enough exercise, then they complain when they run in the corridors!“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
If someone asks you to spell "part A" backwards, don't do it.
It's A Trap.{emotionless greeting}
Three Word SloganComment
-
What’s the difference between a fox and a hound ?
About ten pints.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Disqualified umbrella company director Adrian Sacco 'got a mere slap on the wrist' Yesterday 22:47
- Contractors' Questions: Should contractors use LinkedIn's Social Selling Index (SSI)? Yesterday 08:45
- FCSA waters down umbrella company code, settling for 'reasonable effort' on contractor holiday pay Jul 4 08:18
- Contractor confidence returned to positive territory at the start of 2022 Jul 1 08:05
- A contractor's guide to umbrella company contracts Jun 29 08:33
- 5 questions contractor recruiters should ask umbrella companies Jun 29 08:07
- Contractors at risk of being taken in by bogus badges from 'sham' accreditation outfits Jun 29 07:02
- Am I liable for my limited company's Bounce Back Loan? Jun 28 09:06
- Contractors who exploit 'Work From Home' gigs risk landing themselves in hot water -- and you back at your desk Jun 28 08:01
- Exchequer Solutions Ltd and its GBP11million tax bill: are there implications for contractors and providers? Jun 27 08:18
Comment