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Please put more jokes here

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    COOKING Greek food for my wife tonight, looking forward to the St Valentine's Moussaka.
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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      TELL someone you no longer love them by booking a Valentine's meal at somewhere with a Just Eat sticker in the window.
      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

      Comment


        An old boy is driving along the M1 in his1960 Morris Minor, panicking over the speed of the other road users when his phone rings.

        "Albert," she says, "please be careful when you're driving back. I just heard on the radio that there's a lunatic on the M1 and he's driving the wrong way!"

        "Its not just one" Albert replies, "there's bloody hundreds of them!"
        “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

        Comment


          What's red and bad for your teeth?


          A brick
          {emotionless greeting}

          Three Word Slogan

          Comment


            Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?


            They each got 6 months.
            {emotionless greeting}

            Three Word Slogan

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              I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.

              It's something I could see myself doing
              {emotionless greeting}

              Three Word Slogan

              Comment


                Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet?

                Because the P is silent.
                {emotionless greeting}

                Three Word Slogan

                Comment


                  I asked a certain Welsh poster how many sexual partners he'd had.

                  He started counting but he fell asleep.
                  {emotionless greeting}

                  Three Word Slogan

                  Comment


                    I was in the pub with the missus last night, and I said, "I love you." She said, " Is that you or the beer talking?"
                    I replied, "It's me, talking to the beer"...
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I'm setting up a help group for bike riders who ignore red lights. Please fell free to join Cyclists Unable to Notice Traffic Signals.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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