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Please put more jokes here

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    "And what will the lovely lady be having?" asked the waiter, whilst my girlfriend was in the toilet.

    "I don't know" I replied. "A tulip, most likely”
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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      AVOID dull chats with hairdressers by having the location, date and length of your holiday tattooed on the back of your neck.
      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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        I've been trying to teach my mate how to play golf recently but the problem seems to be his drive.

        His wife stands on it and doesn't let us out.
        {emotionless greeting}

        Three Word Slogan

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          American teachers will now be armed with 9mm Glocks. Librarians will be issued silencers.
          {emotionless greeting}

          Three Word Slogan

          Comment


            Have you been hit with a rhythm stick?

            If so, you may be entitled to personal Ian Dury claim
            {emotionless greeting}

            Three Word Slogan

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              It appears we're having a bad spell of wether.
              {emotionless greeting}

              Three Word Slogan

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                Apparently Charles Dickens' 'Tale of Two Cities' was serialised in two local newspapers.

                It was the Bicester Times. It was the Worcester Times.

                Comment


                  Originally posted by mudskipper View Post
                  Apparently Charles Dickens' 'Tale of Two Cities' was serialised in two local newspapers.

                  It was the Bicester Times. It was the Worcester Times.
                  Was that really your 25,000th post?

                  Could have been worse i suppose.

                  Comment


                    25000 posts? Gordon Bennet! My count is less than half that and I've been on CUK since, er, about 1932.
                    bloggoth

                    If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
                    John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by original PM View Post
                      Was that really your 25,000th post?

                      Could have been worse i suppose.
                      Blimey. I hadn't realised.

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