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Please put more jokes here

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    What happened when the ninja was sick?

    He was kung flu fighting
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I'll never forget what my grandma said to me right before she popped her clogs

      She said, "I can't believe you bought me inflatable shoes"
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Getting your helmet wet, getting some gash or just going headfirst into a lady's bush, however you want to put it.








        Falling off your bike just isn't fun.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          For NLyUK

          My wife said "I used to be Christian"...

          I said "Don't worry love, I don't really care for those sorts of things"...

          She replied "Thank God!" It's so much better now I'm Christine".
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            For Nick

            The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British.








            CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you


            Remember Eric Idle was spot on!
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              What's the difference between a Gun and a Liberal?

              A gun only has one trigger....
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                We saw a homeless girl on the high street with a sign saying "Destitute. Please help."

                My mate walked towards her, taking his wallet out.

                I thought "that's nice," until he asked her for a blowjob and I remembered he's dyslexic.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  AssGuru took this bird back to his place and stripped completely naked and said "80 kilos of pure dynamite love."
                  She started running for the door, I said "why are you going," she replied "all that dynamite but such a small fuse."
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Sky News: " Britain soon to ban Plastic Straws "

                    Typical. Americans are holding onto their AR-15s , while we give up our pea-shooters.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Darmy’s sitting on the train, when the guard comes along and punches his ticket. “You need to change at the next station.” The guard helpfully informs him.

                      “I can’t do that.” replies Darmy

                      “Why not?” asks the guard

                      “These are my only clothes.”
                      Last edited by vetran; 24 February 2018, 00:17.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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