Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

What happened when the ninja was sick?

He was kung flu fighting

[vetran]

I'll never forget what my grandma said to me right before she popped her clogs

She said, "I can't believe you bought me inflatable shoes"

[vetran]

Getting your helmet wet, getting some gash or just going headfirst into a lady's bush, however you want to put it.








Falling off your bike just isn't fun.

[vetran]

For NLyUK

My wife said "I used to be Christian"...

I said "Don't worry love, I don't really care for those sorts of things"...

She replied "Thank God!" It's so much better now I'm Christine".

[vetran]

For Nick

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British.








CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you


Remember Eric Idle was spot on!

[vetran]

What's the difference between a Gun and a Liberal?

A gun only has one trigger....

[vetran]

We saw a homeless girl on the high street with a sign saying "Destitute. Please help."

My mate walked towards her, taking his wallet out.

I thought "that's nice," until he asked her for a blowjob and I remembered he's dyslexic.

[vetran]

AssGuru took this bird back to his place and stripped completely naked and said "80 kilos of pure dynamite love."
She started running for the door, I said "why are you going," she replied "all that dynamite but such a small fuse."

[vetran]

Sky News: " Britain soon to ban Plastic Straws "

Typical. Americans are holding onto their AR-15s , while we give up our pea-shooters.

[vetran]

Darmy’s sitting on the train, when the guard comes along and punches his ticket. “You need to change at the next station.” The guard helpfully informs him.

“I can’t do that.” replies Darmy

“Why not?” asks the guard

“These are my only clothes.”