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Please put more jokes here

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    #6111
    You know, at the end of the day.....

    It's 11:59pm
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment

      #6112
      Was at the butchers earlier and thought I saw some of those Donald Trump steaks for sale, but when I looked again what it actually said was 'Thick cut'.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment

        #6113
        I said to my wife, "If you won the lottery would you leave me?"

        She said, "Probably, Why?"

        "No reason." I replied. "Here's £2.50, go and get yourself a lucky dip."
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment

          #6114
          Naked man arrives at a fancy dress party with a girl on his back.
          "I'm a turtle"
          "Oh who's on your back?"
          "That's Michelle"
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment

            #6115
            I looked out of my window in horror yesterday as a crowd gathered around a crashed motorcyclist.
            I rushed outside yelling "Let me through, let me through"
            A man at the front said "Thank God for that, are you a Doctor"?
            I said "No, that's my ******* Pizza"
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment

              #6116
              My wife showed me a good time last night.

              The photos of me when I was single.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment

                #6117
                Went to visit my mate in his new flat today and he told me to make myself at home....
                First thing I did was throw him out - I ******* hate having visitors....
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment

                  #6118
                  DHL

                  Don't Have Lunch?
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment

                    #6119
                    Ever been drawn and repelled by something at the same time? I have ...

                    A feminist with massive tits has started working in my office.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment

                      #6120
                      My ex-wife was the worst housekeeper ever, apart from after the divorce.





                      Then she kept the ******* house.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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