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Please put more jokes here

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    You know, at the end of the day.....

    It's 11:59pm
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Was at the butchers earlier and thought I saw some of those Donald Trump steaks for sale, but when I looked again what it actually said was 'Thick cut'.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I said to my wife, "If you won the lottery would you leave me?"

        She said, "Probably, Why?"

        "No reason." I replied. "Here's £2.50, go and get yourself a lucky dip."
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Naked man arrives at a fancy dress party with a girl on his back.
          "I'm a turtle"
          "Oh who's on your back?"
          "That's Michelle"
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I looked out of my window in horror yesterday as a crowd gathered around a crashed motorcyclist.
            I rushed outside yelling "Let me through, let me through"
            A man at the front said "Thank God for that, are you a Doctor"?
            I said "No, that's my ******* Pizza"
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              My wife showed me a good time last night.

              The photos of me when I was single.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Went to visit my mate in his new flat today and he told me to make myself at home....
                First thing I did was throw him out - I ******* hate having visitors....
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  DHL

                  Don't Have Lunch?
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Ever been drawn and repelled by something at the same time? I have ...

                    A feminist with massive tits has started working in my office.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      My ex-wife was the worst housekeeper ever, apart from after the divorce.





                      Then she kept the ******* house.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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