Please put more jokes here

**LondonManc** · 8 March 2017, 16:50

There are various ways to give up smoking - gum, patches, cold turkey. My gran used to pour a gallon of petrol on herself each morning.

**shaunbhoy** · 8 March 2017, 17:01

Don't give up on your dreams.....keep sleeping!!

**LondonManc** · 8 March 2017, 17:26

True fact: You cannot lose a homing pigeon. If it doesn't come home, what you have actually lost is a pigeon.

**LondonManc** · 8 March 2017, 17:29

Most liberals will do anything for the working classes; anything except mix with them.

**LondonManc** · 8 March 2017, 17:32

Patience is like toilet role; the bigger the arsehole, the quicker it runs out.

**LondonManc** · 8 March 2017, 17:34

I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free.

**LondonManc** · 8 March 2017, 17:37

Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse... but enough about Kanye West.

**LondonManc** · 8 March 2017, 17:38

If two clowns get divorced, is the fight for the kids a custardy battle?

**shaunbhoy** · 9 March 2017, 18:05

GET that delicious slow-cooked ham hock result without the fuss by chewing up some gammon and drying it on the windowsill.

**shaunbhoy** · 12 March 2017, 17:54

I went for an Indian last night.
The waiter came over and said,
"Curry okay?"
I replied, "Go on then, one song then leave me in peace"

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