Please put more jokes here

[NotAllThere]

Posts that weren't jokes - removed. But it has left me wondering what i should do with this one... too much for my little mod brain...

[mb31]

There once was a man from Kentucky
Who’s undies were constantly mucky
If he needed a poo
Then he'd run to the loo
But his timing was often unlucky

[BrilloPad]

I never wanted to believe my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.

But when I got home all the signs were there.

[LondonManc]

I wasn't that close to my uncle when he died.
Good job really, he trod on a landmine.

[NotAllThere]

I learned to program in Java.
I've now got a remote client so I'm going to program in Bali.

[LondonManc]

Husband: "Am I the only one you've ever had sex with?"
Wife: "Oh yes, all the rest have been at least a seven."

[BrilloPad]

For those who don't want Alexa listening to your conversations they are making a male version. It never listens to anything....

[LondonManc]

My uncle has invented an invisible aeroplane.
I can't see it taking off.

[WTFH]

Help permies who say “I can’t believe it’s December already!” by directing their attention to a calendar and explaining how it works.

[WTFH]

I put my phone in airplane mode and it tried to sell me a tiny can of coke for £2