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Please put more jokes here

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    Me: I've lost the dictionary


    Her: Can you look upstairs?


    Me: I can't look up anything
    …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

    Comment


      One for Brillo:

      50% of all marriages end in divorce which sounds really bad until you realize the other 50% end in death.
      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

      Comment


        Surgeon: Relax Dave, this is straightforward easy surgery.

        Patient: But I'm not Dave!

        Surgeon: I know. I am
        Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

        Comment


          My wife came into the bedroom absolutely starkers after her shower.

          She said to me, “Babe, shut the curtains, I don’t want the neighbours to see me naked.”

          “Don’t worry” I said. “If the neighbours see you naked, they’ll shut their own f**king curtains!”

          Comment


            The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

            “What’s the bad news?” asks the accused.

            “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”

            “What’s the good news?”

            “Your cholesterol is 130.”

            Comment


              Breaking up with an optician is really difficult. Every time I said “I can’t see you any more”, she moved an inch closer and said “what about now?”
              …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

              Comment


                Hey guys!

                I'm in the hospital, but I'm ok. I just wanted to let everyone know that the Dyson ball cleaner is a very misleading name.

                Comment


                  Clöwnš to the left of me,
                  Jökérš to the right.
                  Here I am, stuck in IKEA with you.
                  …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                  Comment


                    Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

                    Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

                    Comment


                      Did you know that if you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN, they get very annoyed.
                      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

                      Comment

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