Please put more jokes here

[LondonManc]

Most of my relatives are police marksmen, apart from my granddad who was a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.

[LondonManc]

My grandad went down in history, and on one occasion, fingered a girl in Geography.

[mudskipper]

I've been recommended the Adam Ant diet.
Don't chew ever, don't chew ever...

[WTFH]

I met my mate Paddy down the pub, he was boasting about how he was sleeping with a pair of twins.
I asked him how he told them apart.

He said it was easy. Julie has blonde hair and Derek has a moustache.

[GreenMirror]

I met my mate Paddy down the pub, he was boasting about how he was sleeping with a pair of twins.
I asked him how he told them apart.

He said it was easy. Julie has blonde hair and Derek has a moustache.

A pair of twins? So 4?

<GM in WTFH pedant mode>

[LondonManc]

My local school had a big problem with drugs… especially Class A.

[mudskipper]

Today I saw an ad on facebook -

"Radio for sale. £1. Volume stuck on full".

I thought "I can't turn that down".

[WTFH]

I was in the travel agent earlier, looking for summer suggestions when I saw one that said “party like it’s the early 19th Century - try a Club 1830 holiday”

[mudskipper]

I've just watched a documentary on marijuana.

I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

[WTFH]

Just had a message from Brillo Mirror...
I'm working on a Valentine's day poem.
I reckon rhyming boobs with pubes may be the kicker.
She'll be mine by Easter.