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    Roger Moore
    007 feet under
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      "Theresa May has arrived at Manchester children’s hospital to visit victims of the attack"

      Have they not suffered enough?
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I've decided to enter the TV singing contest for schizophrenics - The Voices
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I saw my young daughter crying over her homework yesterday, I said:

          "Talk to me baby, a problem shared is a problem halved."

          Unfortunately her problem was fractions so she hadn't got a ******* clue what I was talking about.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            My girlfriend is really kinky but really hard to understand.


            She tells me that she is into donkey punching during sex, then freaks when I buy a donkey.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Little Johnny was sat in class, and the teacher called on him and said, "Johnny, could you use 'I' in a sentence please?"

              Little Johnny began, "I is--"

              "Little Johnny," said the teacher, "you've learned this by now, the correct grammar is 'I am'."

              Johnny continued, "I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I started dating this girl and she told me all her flatmate Lisa does is sit around all day drinking beer and watching movies.

                I kind of felt bad for her.

                Because now I'm interested in her flatmate.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  sick

                  I have a new starter business idea that going to go viral. It's a unique product, created by harvesting the eggs from dead women.

                  I'm calling it: Cadaviar.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    My wife told me she was leaving me because I was too clingy.
                    "Ok," I said, "I'll come with you."
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      What do you call a fat psychic?
                      A four-chin teller.
                      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                      Comment

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