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My wife just asked me if her Appendix scar made her look unattractive.
Apparently the response, "Don't worry babe, your tits cover it", wasn't the answer she was looking for.
“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”
"I want to ask him how many calories there really are in sperm."
Sara says, "Why worry? If you're swallowing that much, no man is going to care if you're a bit chubby."
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
A new version of the world map has been drawn.
The North Pole is at the top, the South Pole is at the bottom, and all the other poles are in Britain.
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
Oral sex isn't the same since the wife had her leg amputated.
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"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
A Jamaican walks into a bank with a 25kg bag of marijuana and hands it over to the cashier... Shocked, the cashier asks..'What's this for?' The Rastafarian replies..'Me here to open a joint account'
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
I knew I shouldn't have let my dyslexic wife organise our wedding. At the reception there was a magnificent centipede in the middle of every table.
"If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."
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