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Please put more jokes here

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    The judge : " A woman shot her husband beacuse he stepped on her freshly mopped floor ..."
    Police guy : " That is correct ! "
    "And it took you 20 minutes to aresst her ? why ? "

    " The floor was stiil wet " replied the police guy
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      What does a bloke with a 12" c0ck have for breakfast

      This morning I had eggs and bacon yesterday I had cornflakes
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Jeff Wayne couldn't believe it when he came home one evening to find his wife bringing herself to orgasm with a chocolate bar.
        "The chances of anyone coming from Mars, are a million to one!" he said.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          After so many years of marriage, it is amazing the fantastic shape my wife is still in.

          A perfect circle.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Teacher: "Can you use the word 'suppositories' in a sentence?"

            Little Johnny: "Yes, Miss. Suppositories win the election again, that's us all fscked."
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Before booking my first flight from America to the UK, I always wondered how obvious it would be to the locals that I was not from there.

              After five minutes in Bradford, I found that being white and speaking English are dead giveaways.
              Last edited by vetran; 25 April 2017, 12:31.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I think my wife's golf driving lessons are starting to pay off.

                She managed to pull the car on the driveway 2 over par earlier.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  One for PC's shoulder

                  I was halfway through a superb wank earlier and thought "I shouldn't be doing this".
                  The woman on checkout 4 agreed.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    PC is busy today

                    Having a wank is the equivalent of walking 200 steps

                    If you don't believe me check my Fitbit
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Mohammed never actually specified that the 72 virgins would be women.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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