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Please put more jokes here

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    An old lady went to the dentist. She sat in the chair, lowered her bloomers and raised her legs.

    The dentist said, "Excuse me Madam I'm not a gynaecologist."

    "I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.”

    Comment


      AssSnob's new job

      Bumped into an old friend,what you doing now? I asked.
      "Pharmacist" he said.
      Wow I never thought you'd have the brains for that!
      What,mucking-out stables and feeding pigs,piece of piss really.

      Comment


        If you think dogs can't count,

        Put 3 biscuits in your pocket then give him only 2.

        Comment


          I spent half an hour licking the wife's pussy last night.

          She screamed 'put that ******* cat down you pervert, it can clean itself'

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            After I had yet another penis enlargement, my wife left me:

            "I just can't take it any longer" she cried.

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              I've just found out I've got 2 weeks to live.

              The wife's going away for a fortnight.

              Comment


                How to figure out what kind of bear is following you:
                If you run .... And you run, and you get into a tree, and the bear climbs the tree, it's a black bear.
                If you run ... and run, and you get into a tree, and the bear shakes the tree, it's a brown bear.
                If you run ... and run ... and run, you can not find a tree, it is a polar bear.

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                  I discovered my girlfriend was robbing me blind, so I kicked her out. That was six months ago, and it's been nothing but happy days ever since.

                  She took all my other box sets.

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                    A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.
                    He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once but I didn't like it."
                    So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
                    But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once but I didn't like it."
                    The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once but I didn't like it.
                    As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
                    The bartender said, "I'm guessing he's an only child

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                      Some people are like a software update .

                      When I see them I think " Not now " .

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