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Please put more jokes here

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    An old lady went to the dentist. She sat in the chair, lowered her bloomers and raised her legs.

    The dentist said, "Excuse me Madam I'm not a gynaecologist."

    "I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.”
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      AssSnob's new job

      Bumped into an old friend,what you doing now? I asked.
      "Pharmacist" he said.
      Wow I never thought you'd have the brains for that!
      What,mucking-out stables and feeding pigs,piece of piss really.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        If you think dogs can't count,

        Put 3 biscuits in your pocket then give him only 2.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I spent half an hour licking the wife's pussy last night.

          She screamed 'put that ******* cat down you pervert, it can clean itself'
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            After I had yet another penis enlargement, my wife left me:

            "I just can't take it any longer" she cried.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I've just found out I've got 2 weeks to live.

              The wife's going away for a fortnight.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                How to figure out what kind of bear is following you:
                If you run .... And you run, and you get into a tree, and the bear climbs the tree, it's a black bear.
                If you run ... and run, and you get into a tree, and the bear shakes the tree, it's a brown bear.
                If you run ... and run ... and run, you can not find a tree, it is a polar bear.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I discovered my girlfriend was robbing me blind, so I kicked her out. That was six months ago, and it's been nothing but happy days ever since.

                  She took all my other box sets.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.
                    He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once but I didn't like it."
                    So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
                    But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once but I didn't like it."
                    The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool, and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once but I didn't like it.
                    As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
                    The bartender said, "I'm guessing he's an only child
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Some people are like a software update .

                      When I see them I think " Not now " .
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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