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Please put more jokes here

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    Joey Barton said to be devastated about 18 month ban from football for gambling, as he had £20 on it being 2 years.
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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      If I was a billionaire I'd name my son 'Left to right' to make it difficult for kidnappers to locate him in his class photograph.
      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

      Comment


        Women are so ungrateful these days.
        I try and hold the door for them but all they do is scream and tell me to get out of the bathroom.
        “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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          I've Got 2 ringside tickets for the Joshua v Klitschko fight. I paid £2500 each but didn't realise when I bought them it was on the same day as My wedding, If your interested I'm looking for someone to take My Place.
          It's at St Ignatious Church in Lancashire at 3pm the brides name is Julie she's 5'4" about 115lbs she's a good cook too. She will be the one in the white dress.
          “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

          Comment


            A man walks into the doctor's and slaps his huge cock onto the desk.

            The doctor says "What's wrong with it?"

            The man replies "Nothing, it's a ******* beauty, isn't it?"

            Comment


              What connects Angela Merkel's thigh bone to her back bone?

              A strong a stable leader's hip
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                If someone says they'd "kill for some chocolate", test their integrity by handing them a mars bar and a list of names.
                “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                Comment


                  My paper manufacturing business has folded seven times so I'm pretty sure it can't happen again.
                  “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                  Comment


                    I was so outraged when my wife accused me of being a transvestite that I packed her things and left.
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                    Comment


                      My wife says I’m hopeless at fixing electrical appliances.
                      Well, she’s in for a shock.
                      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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