• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    A man is cooking venison for his family when his kids ask him what it is.
    He tells them that it's what mummy calls him.
    Billy shouts to his sister, "don't eat it Clare, it's an arsehole!"
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

    Comment


      A bloke is rescued from a building fire and is admitted to hospital.
      He says to the doctor "I have been here now for two weeks and all I'm getting is Haggis,Tatties and Neeps for every meal.
      The Doctor says "What do you expect, this is the Burns unit"!
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        If Bruce Willis died after taking viagra the news paper headlines would be hilarious....

        Bruce willis died hard
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          For our Divorcees

          My mate got home today to find his wife had left him, she took his prized Bob Marley collection and the satellite dish.... feel sorry for him.....












          No Woman, No Sky.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            GANB - That's bang out of order
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I struggle to spell Armageddon

              Still, it's not the end of the world is it
              Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
              I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

              I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

              Comment


                On February 14th, I'm going to give my missus one up the arse.

                She is Dyslexic, and I've told her that it's St.Vaselines Day.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  one for NAT

                  As old Johnny approaches his 90th birthday the staff at his nursing home decide to arrange a special treat for him. He has been awfully low recently and has lost his spark so the staff arrange for a stripper to give him a private dance in his room to see if that puts the glint back in his eye. The big day arrives and the the young lady is duly smuggled up to Johnny's room where the old boy is waiting for his surprise. She takes off her coat to reveal a sexy PVC nurses uniform and starts moving and swaying towards the old boy. As she leans over him she whispers seductively in his ear
                  "I'm here to give you super sex"
                  Old Johnny clears his throat and croaks..
                  "I'll take the soup"
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    you shouldn't understand this - pervert!

                    I've been watching so much porn lately, I've started spitting on the lock before I put the key in the door.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Speaking of Kurt Cobain, whats the difference between him and Elton John?

                      Elton John has taken more than one shot to the mouth!
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X