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Please put more jokes here

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    Last night I asked my wife to shave her c**t.

    This morning I woke up and I was bald.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I hear that Trump has announced a ban on the sale of shredded cheeses. All part of his plan to Make America Grate Again.
      {emotionless greeting}

      Three Word Slogan

      Comment


        Q: What do you get if you cross a pirate film with a porn film?

        A: The curse of the black pearl necklace
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          For Brillo

          No racists in Wales.

          They shag black sheep as well.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Cats sleep about two thirds of every day.
            The rest of the time they are being filmed for youtube.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              For our Divorcees

              My ex-wife's so lazy, she won't even use her whole hand when she waves at me in the street.

              She just uses her little finger.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."

                Comment


                  I've got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing - serves him right.

                  Comment


                    I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny, you couldn't swing a cat in there.

                    Comment


                      "So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

                      Comment

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