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Please put more jokes here

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    Last night I asked my wife to shave her c**t.

    This morning I woke up and I was bald.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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      I hear that Trump has announced a ban on the sale of shredded cheeses. All part of his plan to Make America Grate Again.
      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

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        Q: What do you get if you cross a pirate film with a porn film?

        A: The curse of the black pearl necklace
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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          For Brillo

          No racists in Wales.

          They shag black sheep as well.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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            Cats sleep about two thirds of every day.
            The rest of the time they are being filmed for youtube.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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              For our Divorcees

              My ex-wife's so lazy, she won't even use her whole hand when she waves at me in the street.

              She just uses her little finger.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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                So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."

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                  I've got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing - serves him right.

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                    I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny, you couldn't swing a cat in there.

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                      "So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

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