Please put more jokes here

[LondonManc]

I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I asked, "is it because I'm black?"

[Moose423956]

I've got a steering wheel in my pants. It's driving me nuts.

[vetran]

For MP

A lady calls her lawyer and asks... "With all the lawsuits
going on, I want to get in on some of that action. I hear
people are suing cigarette companies because they got cancer
and others are suing McDonald's because they got fat."

"And which one of those categories do you fit under?"

"Neither," says MP. "I just want to know if I can sue
Budweiser for all the ugly Blokes I've ended up with after the bar closed.

[vetran]

I didn't change the name !

Paddy dies and goes to hell. Satan is there waiting for him and shows him three rooms. In room 1, there is boiling hot water dripping from the ceiling. In room 2, there is hot coals scattered on the floor. In room 3, there is an old man getting a blow job from an extremely gorgeous fit blonde as he licks her ass at the same time. Paddy then says, "I think it'll definitely have to be room 3!" Satan says "OK then." Satan then goes into room 3, taps the blonde on the back and says, "You can go now love it's Paddy's turn!!..

[LondonManc]

I phone the spiritual leader of Tibet the other day. He sent me a goat with a long neck; turns out I'd phoned dial-a-lama

[vetran]

The wife promised me a blow job for my birthday........ Bitch had me blowing up my balloons.

[vetran]

Believe it or not, CUK has actually restored my Faith in God.

Because there's no way Darwinism is true after seeing some of the people on here.

[vetran]

For NLUK

I have decided to become a porn actor and use the name Pringles because once I pop I just don't stop.

[LondonManc]

Michael Stipe died earlier and only two people know about it. That's me and the coroner.

[vetran]

Does anyone know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife?