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Please put more jokes here

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    Couldn't remember the Roman numerals for 51, 6 and 500.

    Livid.
    Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
    I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

    I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

    Comment


      a few clean jokes to tell SY's Granny.

      How does the Solar System hold up its trousers? With an asteroid belt

      • What kinds of music do planets sing? Neptunes

      • An astronaut broke the law of gravity and earned a suspended sentence

      • That was a poor joke about infinity – it didn't have an ending

      Let's hope the new Jurassic World isn't a train rex of a film

      • What do you call it when a dinosaur is involved in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck

      • What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus

      • What do you call a blind dinosaur? Adoyouthinkhesaurus

      • What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur? Jurassic Pork
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Originally posted by vetran View Post
        How does the Solar System hold up its trousers? With an asteroid belt

        • What kinds of music do planets sing? Neptunes

        • An astronaut broke the law of gravity and earned a suspended sentence

        • That was a poor joke about infinity – it didn't have an ending

        Let's hope the new Jurassic World isn't a train rex of a film

        • What do you call it when a dinosaur is involved in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck

        • What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus

        • What do you call a blind dinosaur? Adoyouthinkhesaurus

        • What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur? Jurassic Pork
        What do you call a blind dinosaurs dog? Adoyouthinkhesaurus Rex
        Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
        I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

        I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

        Comment


          How did brave Egyptians write? In hero-glyphics

          • Why couldn't the mummy answer the phone? She was tied up

          • Why do mummies not tell secrets? They keep everything under wraps

          • What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece? Troy Story

          What kind of lighting did Noah have on the ark? Flood lights

          • Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives


          What would they call a drugs festival at Stonehenge? Stonedhenge

          • What would they call afternoon tea at Stonehenge? Sconehenge

          Who was Socrates' worst student? Mediocrities

          • Who was Socrates' busiest student? The one with a lot on his Plato

          • What do you call a fliratatious philosopher: A Socratease

          • What relative did Socrates need after his trial? An Aunty dote
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            What did Romans use to cut string? A pair of Caesars

            • When Brutus asked Caesar how many oranges he had eaten, he replied: "Et two, Brute"

            • What did Caesar say to Cleopatra? Toga-ther we can rule the world

            • Why did the Romans build straight roads? So their soldiers didn't go around the bend

            • Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever? Julius Sneezer

            • Who refereed the tennis match between Caesar and Mark Anthony? A Roman Umpire

            • Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons? He wanted to mark Antony

            • Why was Shakespeare denied a drink at a pub? He was Bard

            Atheism is a non-prophet organisation

            • Jesus saves . . . but Keegan scores the rebound (famous football banner from the Seventies)

            • Jesus said to Peter, "Come forth and I will give you eternal glory." Peter came fifth and won a toaster

            What's a volcano's favourite historical document? The Magma Carte

            • What does a volcano do when it wants food for a party? Orders a cratering company

            • What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava You
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Originally posted by vetran View Post
              • Why did the Romans build straight roads? So their soldiers didn't go around the bend
              I know a different punch line to this, which only Catherine Tate's gran should hear
              Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
              I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

              I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

              Comment


                What does the B stand for in Benoit B. Mandelbrot?

                Benoit B. Mandelbrot.
                Best Forum Advisor 2014
                Work in the public sector? You can read my FAQ here
                Click here to get 15% off your first year's IPSE membership

                Comment


                  Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

                  To get to the other...oh...
                  Best Forum Advisor 2014
                  Work in the public sector? You can read my FAQ here
                  Click here to get 15% off your first year's IPSE membership

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by TheFaQQer View Post
                    Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

                    To get to the other...oh...
                    Erm, you can still cross a Mobius strip.. going along it is a different story surely...

                    'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

                    Comment


                      Thought for the day:
                      If a man speaks and his wife cannot hear him, is he still wrong?
                      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

                      Comment

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