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Please put more jokes here

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    for MF

    I missed my weekly 'Liars Anonymous' meeting last night.

    I was having a threesome with Beyoncé and Katy Perry at the time.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      The word "mood swing" is misleading. It sounds like it's swinging and we don't know what mood it's gonna hit.

      If your wife calls you and says she's having mood swings, don't expect to walk through the door to find her naked cooking brownies.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        My nine year old daughter asked me to read her a fairy tale.
        So I did.
        It was called the Holy Bible.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          When Dr Jekyll takes his magic potion, he becomes Mr Hyde.

          So remember kids, taking drugs can get you stripped of your medical licence.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            For Brillo

            Women are like pianos,when theyre not upright theyre grand
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              I'm not saying my wife is fat,but she thinks 'intercourse' is what she usually enjoys between meals.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                I just bought an Islamic sex doll.

                I'm not looking forward to blowing her up.
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  I spilled a bottle of Ritalin in my Ford Fiesta. Now it's a Ford Focus.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    for MS

                    Sure Burger King advertise that you can "have it your way" but as soon as you ask them for a Big Mac they get all pissy.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      Folakemi stood in the doorway, soaking wet and dripping on the doormat. Her father couldn't help but chuckle.

                      "The weather here in Norfolk is very different to that in Nigeria but at least we are not persecuted and treated without respect by primitive masses," he said cheerfully.

                      Folakemi sighed.

                      "It's bright sunshine, dad. The locals are still licking me to see if I'm made of chocolate."
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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