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Please put more jokes here

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    I was just asked if I wanted to take part in an exit poll.

    I said "I already have mate. I voted UKIP"
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I'm not saying my MF is fat.

      It's just that planes shouldn't do wheelies.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        So I've decided to give up on online dating

        My wife's idea
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          They say you cant buy happiness, but thanks to prostitutes you can rent it.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Bloody exit Poles....taking all our surveys!
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              Originally posted by vetran View Post
              There are more pandas in Scotland than Labour MPs.
              And more polar bears than Labour, Lib Dem and Tory MPs combined.
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              Comment


                DAVE: endless repeats of the same old crap you've sat through for the last five years.

                Coincidence?
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  The VE day commemorations are a bit like the next Lib Dem conference.

                  People getting together to remember a party that they once had.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    For MS

                    Well another five years of misery and suffering for us to come.

                    Then it will be our tenth wedding anniversary.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      My wife said to me, "Since I've put a bit of weight on you've turned into a right pessimist."

                      I said, "That's because the fridge is always half empty you fat cow."
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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