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    We call my mate's new girlfriend Wales. Everyone's been there but no-one wants to go back
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      For Brillo

      If I wasn't meant to wear my Batman outfit, then you should have been more specific on 'wear black' in the funeral announcement.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        Maths works in mysterious ways. I mean -

        2x2 = 4
        1x1 = 1
        0x0 = a small brown square that can be added to a casserole. (Or a venue for a good night CUK version)
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          sorry a bit close to the edge but it made me laugh.


          I went for a sandwich today & said "Can I have black frog flavour please?"

          The guy said "We don't have black frogs in our Subway!"

          I thought 'I bet he's a Chelsea fan'
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Again close to the knuckle:

            Skysports News are reporting Adam Johnson has put in a transfer request with the view to force through a move to Rotherham United
            Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
            I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

            I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

            Comment


              Me and the wife were talking yesterday when she asked me whether I thought Google would be male or female if it were a human.
              "Simple", I replied, "It would be a woman."

              "Why?" She asked.

              "Because you can't finish your sentence without it coming up with a different suggestion"
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I asked the assistant in JJB Sports what a cricket box was.

                Apparently it's a piece of cheap plastic which men put their genitals in.

                So, a bit like Katie Price then.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I've got sore joints from all the martial arts I do on my commute to work.

                  Repetitive train ninjary.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    An Engineer was unemployed for a long time. He could not find a job so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: "Get your treatment for $500, if not treated get back $1,000."

                    One Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic. Doctor: "I have lost taste in my mouth." Engineer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

                    Doctor: "This is Gasoline!" Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

                    The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money. Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

                    Engineer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!" Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

                    The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak."
                    Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000."
                    Doctor: "But this is $500..."

                    Engineer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Female Logic: Feminists looking for gender equality celebrating International Women's Day.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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