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Please put more jokes here

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    A choirboy returned to the church and raped the priest who had abused him years earlier. When arrested, the police took his mitigating circumstances into consideration and only charged him with a breach of the priest.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      "Dad, do you remember telling me you would buy me a car if I could prove I wasn't gay,"

      "Yes, of course I do, the offer still stands."

      "Well get your money out, this is my friend Alan, and he will swear I am the most miserable bastard he has ever f***ed."
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        My wife just said she wants to renew our marriage vows.

        She got quite upset when I told her not to bother and let them expire.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          My wife says I'm insensitive to the needs of those who are mentally challenged.

          So just to prove her wrong, I've set up a 5k charity run called 'Race for Retards'
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I've just seen the doctor. He says I need to get out more.

            To be specific I need to get out of his wife, his bed and his house
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              A phoned 999 and asked what number to ring if it wasn't an emergency.

              "101!" Replied the operator.

              Then I phoned 101 and left a message informing them that my wife was being murdered.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                For Scooter2

                I was reading an article in the Daily Mail about how charities in Scotland receive 3 times as much Lottery funding as those in England.

                Hardly sounds fair, until you consider that playing the Lottery is the main industry in Scotland nowadays.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Pinocchio's wife was really upset when he became a real boy.

                  She missed his wood.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I've got an Adele satnav in my car.

                    I'm sick of the sight of McDonald's.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I would make a really good procrastinator...if I ever got around to it.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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