• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    At work, random ladies usually phone me up to say:

    "Hey, my friends tell me you give the best cock. Can I come see you in your office?"

    I hate being a surgeon in that Thailand hospital.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I hate the way that as you get older, policemen and doctors etc seem to get younger and younger looking

      Although its not a bad thing when it comes to porn.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        They say a dog is a man's best friend. But that's a load of bollocks.

        I took my dog to the pub last night and he didn't even buy me a pint.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          My wife's such a ******* snob.
          11.20 yesterday "Dave, take this box into the ******* shed"
          12:15 Her friends arrive. "Dave, could you pop to the summerhouse and grab that box please, there's a love"
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Although I'm 6' 2", I met a guy who dwarfed me yesterday.

            He was only about 5' 8" but he hit me with a garden gnome.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I accidentally killed my girfriend's chihuahua by feeding it a mars bar.

              She was devestated and said I was the most insensitive man she'd ever met.

              So, in an effort to ease her pain, I took her to a very expensive restaurant and let her order anything on the menu.

              I even surprised her by having the waiter bring out her favourite dessert.

              Come to think of it "Death by Chocolate" probably wasn't such a good choice.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Over the years I have developed several different techniques on how to win arguments with women.

                You can choose one, or combine several,

                it really doesn't matter though, because none of them work.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  In the news today it was mentioned that a man has been banned from every farm in Britain, after he pleaded guilty to having sex with a young goat.

                  Personally, I think he should be locked up after messing with kids.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    I haven't met a woman yet that doesn't like my 'signature move' in bed.

                    Most likely because it involves me writing a cheque.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I finally managed to give my wife multiple orgasms last night...

                      Yup, two on her tits and one in the gob.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X