• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    All of my Ex's refer to me as 'Subway'.

    Not because I've got a foot-long,

    I have low quality meat and lied about it being 6 inches.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      "What are you doing at the weekend?"

      "I'm going to Mount Snowdon."

      "Are you sure that's wise? He might leak it to the Guardian."
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I used to worry about my hair and teeth falling out in the event of a nuclear attack.

        As a matter of interest, just when were we attacked?
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I met a beautiful girl and we were getting on great until I asked her out for a drink and she stormed off.

          I'm beginning to think that every woman you meet at AA is a lesbian.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I had sex with an Australian the other day?

            And ever since, my voice keeps rising at the end of my sentences?

            I think it's a Sexually Transmitted Inflection...
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              It's hard being a member of the innuendo society.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                "What's on your mind?"
                "Where are you?"
                "Who are you with?"

                When the **** did Facebook turn into my wife?!
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Soon after getting married, I began to realise it was just an expensive, fancy funeral for my sex life.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    You know it's a sad state of affairs living in England when even the immigrants are getting pissed off with immigration.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I wanted to attend a couples workshop for people who can't satisfy their partners.

                      But I can't get my wife to come.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X