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Please put more jokes here

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    All of my Ex's refer to me as 'Subway'.

    Not because I've got a foot-long,

    I have low quality meat and lied about it being 6 inches.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      "What are you doing at the weekend?"

      "I'm going to Mount Snowdon."

      "Are you sure that's wise? He might leak it to the Guardian."
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        I used to worry about my hair and teeth falling out in the event of a nuclear attack.

        As a matter of interest, just when were we attacked?
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          I met a beautiful girl and we were getting on great until I asked her out for a drink and she stormed off.

          I'm beginning to think that every woman you meet at AA is a lesbian.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            I had sex with an Australian the other day?

            And ever since, my voice keeps rising at the end of my sentences?

            I think it's a Sexually Transmitted Inflection...
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              It's hard being a member of the innuendo society.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                "What's on your mind?"
                "Where are you?"
                "Who are you with?"

                When the **** did Facebook turn into my wife?!
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Soon after getting married, I began to realise it was just an expensive, fancy funeral for my sex life.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    You know it's a sad state of affairs living in England when even the immigrants are getting pissed off with immigration.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      I wanted to attend a couples workshop for people who can't satisfy their partners.

                      But I can't get my wife to come.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

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