Money Can't Buy Me Love: no, but it can buy me a tulipload of memorable dirty ****s.
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
I'm homophobic.
I fear to return home after being late from the pub.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I was in a pizzeria when I asked for some of that green leaf to be put on my pizza.
"Sorry I don't understand", he replied.
It's not ******* rocket science.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I've been using my blow up doll too much lately so I had to put an end to it.
I let her down gently.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Wife: 'I've eaten so much salad on this diet I'm beginning to look like a rabbit'.
Husband: 'It's a pity you didn't f*** like one'.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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In China It's a big no no to let your cat on the kitchen table.
They have very strict observance of keeping uncooked and cooked meat separate.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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The London Underground announcement said "The next station is Oval".
It looked the same shape as any other station to me.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I went to see a counsellor about my persistent joyriding.
"Why don't you take a seat?" she said.
"They're tulip cars. I prefer BMWs or Mercs."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I am a member of the arrogant celibacy society.
We really don't give a f**k.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I never used to to like facial hair
but recently its really started to grow on meAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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