Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Money Can't Buy Me Love: no, but it can buy me a tulipload of memorable dirty ****s.

[vetran]

I'm homophobic.

I fear to return home after being late from the pub.

[vetran]

I was in a pizzeria when I asked for some of that green leaf to be put on my pizza.

"Sorry I don't understand", he replied.

It's not ******* rocket science.

[vetran]

I've been using my blow up doll too much lately so I had to put an end to it.

I let her down gently.

[vetran]

Wife: 'I've eaten so much salad on this diet I'm beginning to look like a rabbit'.

Husband: 'It's a pity you didn't f*** like one'.

[vetran]

In China It's a big no no to let your cat on the kitchen table.

They have very strict observance of keeping uncooked and cooked meat separate.

[vetran]

The London Underground announcement said "The next station is Oval".

It looked the same shape as any other station to me.

[vetran]

I went to see a counsellor about my persistent joyriding.

"Why don't you take a seat?" she said.

"They're tulip cars. I prefer BMWs or Mercs."

[vetran]

I am a member of the arrogant celibacy society.

We really don't give a f**k.

[vetran]

I never used to to like facial hair

but recently its really started to grow on me