Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

You know you're getting old when you watch porn and tut at the girl with her shoes on the furniture.

[vetran]

I've found the best way to learn your co-workers' names is by eating their food in the office fridge

[vetran]

For Assi-G

My wife left me for being vain and self-centered. Oh well, her loss.

[vetran]

I hear Ronnie Barker's autobiography is now available - "Four Candles".

No, sorry, Ronnie Barker's autobiography is now available ... for Kindles.

[vetran]

"My balls are just like sprouts." I moaned to my mate over a pint.

"What, small and green?" He said.

"No, my wife will only put them in her mouth at Christmas."

[vetran]

I bumped into one of my primary school teachers today. She looked absolutely divine. Long, brown hair, thick, red lips and a tight-fitted top.

"You've grown haven't you!" she said enthusiastically.

"Is it that obvious?" I replied.

[vetran]

What do Corporate Bosses and pigeons have in common? They both flap about a lot and dont care who they tulip on

[vetran]

My wife reckons she's 'staying dry in January'. Fat chance with a hunk like me knocking round the house.

[vetran]

Doctors have released a statement saying they believe Michael Schumacher has 'cheated death' after his accident.

Is there nothing this man will not cheat at?

[vetran]

Alcoholism and necrophilia, both are the irresistible urge to crack open a cold one.