Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I'm a bit of a technophobe.

I think it's because I once got beaten up at a rave.

[vetran]

It can't be much fun being gay.

Your friends are always moaning behind your back.

[vetran]

Scientists examining global warming are stuck on a boat in the Antarctic.

The ice is so thick it doesn't understand what global warming is

[vetran]

What do feminists hate more than a sexist joke?

Having it explained to them by a man.

[vetran]

Nigella Lawson has come out in sympathy over Michael Schumacher's accident.

She is quoted as saying "I know exactly how he feels. I, myself have been pretty ****ed up after a faceful of snow."

[vetran]

I was drinking at a bar the other night when a fat girl came over and started to flirt with me.
After a while she leaned in and whispered to me "Wanna know what I've been missing?"

Apparently "Exercise" was not what she was going to say.

[vetran]

January 31st begins the Chinese year of the horse.

Just be careful of the Tesco special edition burger.

[vetran]

"In 2013, I saw Beyoncé, Rhianna, Britney and Kesha."

"In concert?"

"No, in Netto. I live on a council estate."

[vetran]

My new girlfriend is so tall, I go up on her.

[vetran]

I bet Jo Brand and Miranda Hart give amazing blow jobs.

Seeing as they both have no gag reflex.