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Please put more jokes here

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    for AtW

    My girlfriend said, "Pssst."

    I said, "What?"

    She said, "Psssssst."

    I said, "What?"

    She said, "Psssssssssssst."

    I said, "What?!"

    ..Then I realised she was punctured.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.

      It's called Wedding Cake.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        for MF

        A study in Cosmopolitan magazine has found that obese men make better lovers, lasting an average of 48 minutes.

        However, 46 of those minutes are spent looking for their cocks.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I went to the doctor's in a panic that I might have early onset Alzheimers, as I suddenly realised I couldnt even remember the last time I had sex.

          "Absolutely nothing wrong with you" said the doctor without even examining me.

          "How can you tell without a brain scan or even a thorough checkup ?" I asked.

          "You're wearing a wedding ring".
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new...."

            "anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              My wife apologised for the first time ever today.

              She said she's sorry she ever married me.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                My new French girlfriend hates it when I pull her hair during sex.

                She says it makes her armpits sore for days.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I hate that they put "use by" dates on condoms... like I'm not under enough pressure trying to get laid already.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    So True

                    How we wake up in the morning:

                    Brain: "Oh ****."

                    Body: "Don't get up."

                    Dick: "THIS IS SPARTAAA!!!"
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      We choose to masturbate, not because it is easy, but because it is hard.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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