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Please put more jokes here

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    Speaking of which, how do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
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      Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?




      Edit: M*A*S*H Post
      Last edited by WTFH; 26 May 2016, 10:02.
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        One for BP...
        What are the top three situations that require witnesses?


        1. Crimes
        2. Accidents
        3. Marriages.


        Nuff said?
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          Isn't it great living in the 21st century, where deleting history is more important than making it.
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            Apparently I snore so loudly it scares the passengers in my car.
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              Did you know that women who are slightly overweight tend to live longer than men who mention it.
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                I was drinking a margarita and the waitress screamed "Does anyone know CPR?"


                I yelled, "Sure, I know the entire alphabet"


                We all laughed and laughed at that, well, except for one guy.
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                  Parachute for sale: used once, never opened, small stain.
                  The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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                    "How was school today, Billy?"
                    "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
                    "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
                    "What school?"
                    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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                      I lost a good friend and drinking buddy in a tragic accident last week.

                      He got his finger stuck in a wedding ring.
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