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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
    I lost a good friend and drinking buddy in a tragic accident last week.

    He got his finger stuck in a wedding ring.
    don't worry with CUK he will probably be free soon!
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      What's the difference between a hooker, your girlfriend, and your wife?

      When you're having sex a hooker says "are you done yet?" Your girlfriend says "you're done already?" And your wife says "beige, we should definitely paint the ceiling beige."
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I watched a gang bang video involving several bus drivers and one woman.

        She looked bored for half an hour, then suddenly they all came at the same time.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          What's the rudest type of Elf?

          ---

          The Gof**kyoursElf.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            For AndyW

            What's the difference between three dicks and a joke?

            Your mum can't take a joke.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I've just met a woman who raps about equality for women everywhere.

              She's called 'Feminem'.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Life...

                It's just an f in lie.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  The morning of my wife's birthday I handed her her first gift. As she unwrapped it she said, "It's a ******* wand! What do I want with a ******* wand?"

                  "It's not just any wand," I replied, "It's a magic wand!"

                  "Really?" she said. "What does it do?"

                  "Why don't you give it shake," I told her, "and don't forget to say the magic words."

                  "Okay," she said shaking the wand. "Abracadabra!"

                  "**** me, love!" I said, peering down the side of the bed. "You're not going to believe this."

                  "What is it?" she asked all excitedly.

                  I said, "You've just made all your other presents disappear!"
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    for the Bremainers

                    Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.
                    Last edited by vetran; 5 June 2016, 17:47.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      So the BBC have reported that teen pregnancy is falling.
                      But child obesity is rising.
                      Just proves no one wants to f**k a fatty.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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