Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

At my last interview the ClientCo manager said to me "so what did you like most about your last contract?", I replied "sometimes people had birthdays and there was free cake"

[LondonManc]

At my last interview the ClientCo manager said to me "so what did you like most about your last contract?", I replied "sometimes people had birthdays and there was free cake"

Wrong thread pal.

[WTFH]

Schrodinger's Immigrant: Simultaneously stealing your job and being too lazy to work.

[LondonManc]

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

Two - one to stir the dough, the other to squeeze the rabbit

[WTFH]

Did you know that if you say "gullible" really slowly, it sounds like the Khoisan for "Polar Bear"?

[WTFH]

Pie chart.

[flamel]

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next tulip could spell disaster.

[LondonManc]

Suspect package found at Old Trafford. Funny how they've missed three or four of them running round the pitch for two years, especially the one cunningly disguised with a big afro wig.

[missinggreenfields]

Police reported yesterday that there was an unidentified, mysterious package found at Old Trafford.

It was later identified as a "trophy".

[SouthernManc78]

I used to work in a can crushing company but it was soda pressing