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Please put more jokes here

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    The inventor of internet porn died last week.

    Most of his friends attended the funeral, but had to leave hastily when their wives turned up.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

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      My favourite sexual position is the JFK.

      I splatter over her face and she runs screaming from the car.
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        For Zeity

        At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I slipped my wife some sleeping tablets because I was horny.

          With her passed out, she won't notice the hooker in our house.
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            Two Argentine pilots die in midair crash, killing all the passengers.

            With flying skills like that, I think the Falklands will be safe for the time being.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              My health has improved so much since I split up with my girlfriend

              Every day since I've been feeling myself
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Some girl in the street yelled at me "OMG! You're so hot! I want you!", It's true... You can ask Harry Styles, He was right behind me
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                  For Kent Phillip

                  I was about to have sex with this Thai woman when suddenly I fumbled to get the condom on.

                  After seconds of struggling, I said, "Do you want to put it on?"

                  "Of course," she smiled, "I just hope it's my size."
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Menses anyone

                    I am not good nor bad
                    I am not fat nor thin
                    I am not happy nor sad
                    Who can tell the mood I'm in?

                    What am I?

                    My wife when she's on her ******* period.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I read in a woman's magazine that the perfect husband is "wealthy, intelligent and has an off-button".

                      I hate these distorted standards for men, how's a regular guy like me meant to compete with Stephen Hawking?
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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