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Please put more jokes here

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    for the musicians

    Did you hear about the drummer who was so depressed about his bad timing that he threw himself behind a train?
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      The gold edition of the Apple Watch is priced at $10,000.
      If I wanted to spend $10,000 on something that'll be obselete in 3 years, I'd buy an engagement ring.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        What's the best thing about Switzerland?
        Well, there's the flag. That's a big plus.

        Comment


          Distractify | 26 Clever Jokes You Have To Be A Little Nerdy To Find Funny
          Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
          I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

          I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

          Comment


            Q: How many equality and diversity co-ordinators does it take to change a lightbulb?



            A: That's inappropriate and offensive.

            Comment


              What's the difference between my wife and Inland Revenue?

              Inland Revenue wants to talk to me.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                For our Divorcees

                What's the difference between a checkout girl and my wife?

                A checkout girl doesn't yell at me while I pack my bags and leave.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  I was chatting with a girl on-line.

                  "Tell me something interesting about yourself," I typed.

                  "I'm Lebanese," came the reply..

                  I'm wasting my time, I thought: she's dyslexic and she prefers girls.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Marrying my wife was like making a surefire investment.

                    After the wedding she got bigger and bigger and never went down
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Don't ever question the value of volunteers.

                      Noah's Ark was made by volunteers; the Titanic was made by professionals.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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