Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

for the musicians

Did you hear about the drummer who was so depressed about his bad timing that he threw himself behind a train?

[vetran]

The gold edition of the Apple Watch is priced at $10,000.
If I wanted to spend $10,000 on something that'll be obselete in 3 years, I'd buy an engagement ring.

[mudskipper]

What's the best thing about Switzerland?
Well, there's the flag. That's a big plus.

[SimonMac]

Distractify | 26 Clever Jokes You Have To Be A Little Nerdy To Find Funny

[ASB]

Q: How many equality and diversity co-ordinators does it take to change a lightbulb?



A: That's inappropriate and offensive.

[vetran]

What's the difference between my wife and Inland Revenue?

Inland Revenue wants to talk to me.

[vetran]

For our Divorcees

What's the difference between a checkout girl and my wife?

A checkout girl doesn't yell at me while I pack my bags and leave.

[vetran]

I was chatting with a girl on-line.

"Tell me something interesting about yourself," I typed.

"I'm Lebanese," came the reply..

I'm wasting my time, I thought: she's dyslexic and she prefers girls.

[vetran]

Marrying my wife was like making a surefire investment.

After the wedding she got bigger and bigger and never went down

[vetran]

Don't ever question the value of volunteers.

Noah's Ark was made by volunteers; the Titanic was made by professionals.