Please put more jokes here

[SimonMac]

You've got a higher opinion than I had on 14/04/16, I only gave her 2/10

[northernladuk]

You've got a higher opinion than I had on 14/04/16, I only gave her 2/10

Beats me. I gave her one.

[vetran]

Beats me. I gave her one.

was waiting for that

[vetran]

Marriage, because your tulipty day doesn’t have to end at work.

[vetran]

"There is no 'I' in TEAM", my boss said.

"Yes, but there is a 'U' in C**T", I replied.

Anyway, I need a new job.

[vetran]

Stormed into the library demanding to know why the book on scouse culture still wasn't in?

"it's not our fault' stammered the librarian,

"yeah, that's the one" I replied

[vetran]

What do George Michael and Wellington Boots have in common?

They both get sucked off in bogs.

[vetran]

What do tax inspectors and sperm have in common?

1 in 50 million has the chance to become a human being.

[vetran]

What's a foot long and slippery ?

A slipper .

[vetran]

I heard a rumour Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary.

It seems the last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth.