Please put more jokes here

[SimonMac]

Just had my Valentine's day card off Moonpig.

She hates it when I call her that.

Just stole this one, thank you muchly!

[shaunbhoy]

A Whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather tiresome practical joke

[vetran]

proper Valentines!

Girlfriend, "Hey, what are we doing for Valentines?"

Me, "Well, you know how you love Paris."

Girlfriend, "Omg, you're not serious?"

Me, "And how you adore Barcelona?

Girlfriend, "Omg, you're the best boyfriend ever. Seriously?"

Me, "Yep, it's PSG v Barcelona, and we're watching it down the pub."

[vetran]

For MF

A to Z of American Cuisine:
A - A Burger
B - Burger
C - Cheese Burger
D - Double Bacon Cheese Burger
E - Extra Cheese Double Bacon Cheese Burger
F - Fries
G - Gerkin Cheese Burger
H - Hamburger
I - Ice in my extra large Coca Cola
J - Jalepeno Cheese Burger
K - Killer Tripple Burger
L - Large Cheese Burger
M - Monster triple cheese burger
N - Nacho topped double cheese burger with bacon
O - Oversized Quad cheese burger
P - Plain Burger
Q - Quarter Pounder with Cheese
R - Relish burger
S - Stacked bacon cheese burger
T - Triple burger with cheese
U - Ultimate quad quarter pounder with cheese and bacon
V - Venison cheese burger with beef burger
W - Well done cheese burger
X - X'tra large burger with cheese and bacon
Y - Yankie double quater pounder with bacon and cheese
Z - Zombie Burger

[LondonManc]

You know our society is knackered now that you can get a pizza delivery to your house quicker than a police car.

[LondonManc]

ConjunctivitisHelp.org - there's a site for sore eyes

[RonBW]

Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.

ConjunctivitisHelp.org - there's a site for sore eyes

Which one is better?

[LondonManc]

Which one is better?

Please let it be mine. You see, I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.

[shaunbhoy]

What do you call a Donkey with only 3 legs?

A Wonkey

[LondonManc]

Today's top tip:
If a telemarketer calls, give the phone to your 3-year-old and tell them it's Santa.