Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I've decided to name my cock Prince.

It's short and purple and hasn't stood up for the best part of a year.

[vetran]

Not sure if this counts as racist, I saw them and thought just like what do you call a man with a spade in the head - Doug .

What do call a Muslim with a pig on his head? Hamed.
What do you call a Muslim with 2 pigs on his head? Mohamed.

[vetran]

My wife went to see" fifty shades darker " with her friends .
I went to bed at 11-30
When she got home , she stood inside the bedroom door with a leather lash and a chain ,
I thought this could be interesting ,
she said :







" you forgot to walk the ******* dog "

[vetran]

One for MF

What do we want ?
A cure for Obesity
When do we want it ?
After Dinner

[vetran]

I've just been sacked from my job as a bingo caller.
Apparently "A meal for two with a hairy view" is not an appropriate way of calling out number 69

[vetran]

After being with my missus for 25 years I finally decided to tell her that I had a police record.





I don't care what she says. Walking on the moon is a classic

[vetran]

2020 Olympic high jump results:
Gold-Mexico
Silver-Mexico
Bronze-Mexico

[vetran]

I came home last evening to find the wife stretched out on the bed.
She said "I'm feeling really horny, if you tie me up you can do anything you like"
So I tied her up and went off to the pub

[vetran]

I got thrown out of the pub last night because I can't speak Japanese.





How am I supposed to know the difference between karaoke and bukkake?

[vetran]

A new opportunity for NLYUK

I went to see an escort last night. She advertised a real girlfriend experience. When I got there she opened the door and said, "You're late, I bet you've been down the pub." We didn't speak for the rest of the night and I ended up sleeping on the sofa.