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Please put more jokes here

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    Apparently if you hold a shellsuit up to your ear you can hear the sound of a Scouser breaking in to a house.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      one for spooter

      A Scottish woman comes home early and catches her husband in bed having sex with a welly.

      She shouted "Hamish! Stop ******* a boot!"
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I was just in the local park with my kids when I saw these 2 little indian kids playing. 1 was wearing the skin of a dead animal and the other had a turban on.
        Then I realised, they were playing hide and Sikh
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          I just reported a criminal organisation for tax evasion and using free child labour.

          School fete my arse
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            for MF

            You know your Mrs is too fat when your bedroom starts to look like old McDonalds Farm
            With a moomoo here and a moomoo there ...
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              My ex only ever wanted it up the arse

              I was glad to see the back of her
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I wish I hadn't told the gay lad next door that you can use margarine as lube if you ever run out.

                He's been Storking me ever since
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  For Paddy

                  Paddy orders a pizza
                  "Would you like it cut into 4 or 6 slices?"

                  Paddy "4 please, I couldn't possibly manage 6"
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    What do you call a Sikh with an eating disorder?

                    Binjita
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I just met up with this bird on PlentyOfFish. I saw her ad and thought I was well in there when I read "blonde with TT bust"
                      I got there and it was some tart with a broken Audi
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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