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    Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut these days. But then again, few people cut their own hair...

    Comment


      I just got asked the time by an Argos delivery driver...
      So I told the bastard it was between 8am and 1pm!
      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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        I've asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I went out to the pub.
        She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
        “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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          My wife was in labour when the nurse said it was time to push. She gave it everything she had until a fart that, from both sound and stench, had obviously followed through. She was horrified.
          "Don't worry," I said, patting her head. "I've heard this kind of thing is perfectly natural during birth - isn't that right, nurse?"
          "Yes," said the nurse, gagging, "but it's usually the mother, not the father."
          “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

          Comment


            I got pulled over by a female police officer. When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said...

            "NOTHING"
            Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
            I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

            I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

            Comment


              I saw a van with a "No tools left in this van overnight" sticker on the back.
              So I broke in during the day.
              “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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                So it turns out when women say "what is WRONG with you??" it's more a rhetorical thing than an actual request for a PowerPoint presentation.
                “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                Comment


                  I was in a taxi today and the driver said "I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do."
                  Then I said "Turn left".
                  “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                  Comment


                    TRAINEE DOCTORS. Why not become a dentist instead by simply finishing your studies after the bit about teeth?
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                    Comment


                      My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party,
                      So I made her and all her friends clean the house.
                      “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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