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Please put more jokes here

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    I've heard rumours of a massive container load of chocolate bars from Beijing washing up on a Dorset beach.

    Probably just Chinese Wispas
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      What's a zombies favourite snack?

      Walkers' Crisps.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        The first time I made love to Kate I thought of my late wife, Susan

        I thought, this’ll teach her to be late
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          A family walks into an hotel lobby.
          The dad goes to reception to book in.
          As he finished booking in ,he said to the receptionist. " I hope the porn channel is disabled "
          Receptionist replies "It's just regular porn, you sick bastard "
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            If you're going to join our American cousins and celebrate Thanksgiving, why not do it the old fashioned way...

            By which I mean, go invite all your neighbours round for an enormous feast...
            Kill them all,
            And then take their land.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I used to have an inferiority complex, but it wasn't a very good one.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                Mick Hucknall was arrested for having sex with an underage rabbit last night.
                Apparently ,He was holding back the ears & the bunny's to tight to mention.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  for the grammar Nazis

                  At a Nazi mine, a worker calls out to Hitler:
                  "Sir, we are mining too many useless Ores"
                  [Hitler rubs his chin, contemplating]
                  "So mine less"
                  [Grammar Nazi chimes in, from above]
                  "MINE FEWER"
                  [Hitler looks up]
                  "Yes?"
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    Told my girlfriend to meet me at the gym, then stood her up.

                    Just wanted to let her know, " We weren't working out."
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      Jazz

                      Whats the difference between a rocker and a jazzman?
                      A rocker plays 4 chords in front of 4000 people and a jazzman plays 4000 chords in front of 4 people
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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