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Please put more jokes here

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    One for Nigel Farage

    I don't understand my wife










    She speaks German
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I saw a job being advertised for condom testers .
      So I applied and they showed me what the job involves , 69, bj, from behind every position you can think of.
      I thought yes with a smile on my face .
      So first day I got a female who would just wank me of .
      By Thursday there was still no sex just being wanked of.
      So I said excuse me Iove you don't mind me asking but aren't we suppose to be having sex in different positions.
      She replied yes but I'm new as well and we to do a week in hand
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I was in the outside lane today when a funeral procession passed me on the inside lane. Bloody undertakers.

        Comment


          I found a packet of Viagra the other day, took one but it didn't work,

          Looked at packet and it was past it's swell by date
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            A pasty walks into a bar...
            His mate says hi Pasty what you doing here?
            To which the Pasty replies.....


            I'm meetin' potato.
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              How do you pull an American girl?

              With a JCB & super-heavy-duty chains.
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                National book day today, however it was cancelled in America as someone had finished colouring it in.
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  Apple computer announced
                  today that it has developed a computer chip that
                  can store and play stereo music in women's breast implants.

                  The iTit,
                  will cost between $499 and $699, depending on‘speaker size’.

                  This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained
                  about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    PokemonGo is more popular than Tinder -







                    Tinder another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area..
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      The new viagra for millionaires such as Sasguru, mr Burton, mr Pryor mr Briers, mr O'Brien mr Attenborough is £1000.00 per tablet

                      It's called Rich-hard

                      Probably not needed by cliff
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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